you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
