you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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