But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
