I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
