I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
