i just google imaged poop.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
