She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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