Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
