I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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