let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
