Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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