I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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