Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
