i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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