All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
