shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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