It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
