everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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