the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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