i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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