It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
