But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
