Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
