i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
