Sry I called you an 8
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
