My balls are so social today.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
