Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
