He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My vagina is officially offended.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
