i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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