hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
