i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
