He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
