I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
