New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
