Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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