you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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