im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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