Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
