ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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