i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
