That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
