just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
