someone threw a dead crab at me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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