bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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