i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
