Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
