No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
