Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
