I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
