i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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