He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
