therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
