CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
