Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
