8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nicole vs. Life
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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