I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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