This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
ok first of all what the fuck
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
