The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
